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Monthly Archives: August 2008

Fuck Fedex and I say it with authority.  I am DEAD fucking serious when I say that too.  These cocksuckers LOST my shit and had the audacity to not contact me about it after I called the first time.  Seriously Fedex, eat a dick.

I knew shit was gonna go wrong when I recieved the tracking info.  When it said Fedex was delivering it, I just knew I was in trouble.  They NEVER update their tracking info and it pisses me off.  It will say that something was sitting somewhere for days, and then as if they have santa working overtime, the package magically arrives at A MILLION destinations in literally a day.  Is it really that hard to update your info?  We live in an era with computers.

I called them about it last week and they had NO idea of where my shit was.  Told me they would call back next week.  They completely just said “fuck that nigger” and never called me back.  I called back today(this package was supposed to be here LAST THURSDAY!)  and they tell me that I should put a claim on it.  That is going to take a looong time now for me to get SOME of the money back because of their fuck up.

Fedex is a shitty service that needs to die.  Don’t ever send me anything through fedex either, I will prolly eat your children faster than Mike Tyson bit Hollyfields ear off.

Apple quite possibly has the best, and most unethical, product campaign in the world.  They are quite possibly the only computer company in the world who can make computers sound “fun”, and at the same time diss the competition with lies that only non-tech people would pick up.  We can call it brainwashing if you will.

Now, I have no problem with Apple.  I had a few beefs with my iPod, and I have NO beef with OSX.  I DO have beef with A) Apple Fanboys(quite possible the biggest cocksuckers on Earth) and B) Non-Tech people who tell me to buy a Mac.

Now, if you fit into category A, I will have to dice you up a bit.  There are Apple Fanboys who know what the fuck they are talking about.  I feel that I can have an overall great conversation with these people when it comes to tech and certain things.  There is also the other group that makes me HATE all Apple Fanboys.  The cocksuckers who have no idea of what they are talking about, and then parade that Macs are the shit.  I nearly punched one of them cocksuckers in the face when they told me that Macs are better because it “has better shortcuts”.  Quite possibly the biggest shit i’ve ever heard in my life.

Smart Apple fanboys will tell you why OSX is better, and then elaborate on it with facts and things like that.  Cocksucking Apple Fanboys that suck on Steve Jobs dick will just say “OSX is better because it doesn’t get viruses(wrong)”.  “Macs never get blue screens of death(Right, they just get a sweet ass gray screen and it does nothing)”.  “Macs just work and never break down(Wrong, my friends Mac is FUBAR and he has to send it in, thus not having a computer for a little while)”.  These people make real Mac fans look like idiots in the same way that cocksucking PC gamers talk about their “uber specs” for their PC rig that is actually store bought(You bitches think I don’t know that you PC gamers are dickless little kids?).

I’m getting off topic.  Where were we?  Oh yes, the “regular consumer” who uses computers for only 3 things that tries to tell you to buy a Mac.  I say, shut the fuck up.  It has happened on numerous occasions where a person that I am WAY smarter than tries to tell me to buy a Mac when they only A) Surf the web, B) Use Aim, and C) Type a paper.  Thanks for your help, but you would be better off by making me a sandwich.

This isn’t really a diss towards Apple.  I just hate how this “fad” has completely brainwashed people into actually thinking that OSX is IONS better than Windows or any version of Linux.  They then take those brainwashed people, and then try to brainwash more people and then it just turns into a giant mess.  If Steve Jobs told a Mac Fanboy to drink poison because it would increase his harddrive speed, it is a gaurantee that said fanboy would do it.  Case in point, let the SMART Mac fanatics do the talking, because you peons can’t convince me one bit.

This is really not a shot at anyone who has converted to another religion to marry anyone, but as I was thinking in my bed today (I sleep in a pair of dirty ass boxers with doo doo stains in em) I couldn’t help but notice that converting is completely one sided.  Actually, it’s utter bullshit.

Here is the scenario, say I am a Christian, and I want to marry a Jew, I would totally have to convert to Judaism to marry her if she is deeply rooted in her religion.  But, why do I have to fucking convert?  What, a person is just supposed to just give up what they believe in just because they wanna marry this motha fucka?  HELL NO!  Thats like telling a little kid that santa won’t deliver his Playboy because he believes in Jesus.  And then it just leaves you with a super hard decision.  Believe in Jesus, or believe in these big ass titties on page 21…

What makes me the maddest is that SOMEONE HAS to change their ways for the “better” of the relationship.  Why the fuck I gotta change?  You liked me before I put that damn fake rock on your finger, why do I have to change now?  Shit is gettin RIDICULOUS with all of that.  Once again, I have no problem if you seriously have considered converting because you find that way of life is more for you.  But if you convert just to make some skank hoe happy, then you are a fuckin idiot and I hope you get divorced and lose all of your money.