Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: March 2009

Back in 1987, the original Street Fighter game took to the arcades from Capcom.  You play as the young fighter Ryu, who goes around the world looking to fight opponents that are willing to fight.  In England you fight Birdie (who by the way turns into a BLACK PERSON in the alpha series) and Eagle (who is actually gay).  In Hong Kong you fight Gen (some old dude that trained Chun Li’s father) and Lee (some fat ass).  In America you fight Joe (some white guy), and you fight Mike ( who if you pay attention to the Japanese versions of the later games, he is actually M. Bison, aka Boxer, aka Balrog if you play the American versions).  You also fight a bunch of other people that dont matter, except for Sagat and Adon in Thailand.  This game actually sucked balls, but it gave Capcom incentive enought to create possibly the greatest fighting game of all time, Street Fighter 2.

Street Fighter 2 took arcades by storm when it came out in 1991.  It had simple controls, sweet characters, and you can see Chun Li’s panties when she did her fireball.  Capcom eventually started to milk this fucking game for all that it was worth.  There are SIX official different releases of the game, and they are ALL different.  Casual players wouldn’t notice the changes, but the pros do.  There were also clones of the game created as well.  Rainbow Edition always makes me laugh.  But with shitty clones of a popular game, there are sure to be shitty cartoons and movies as well.

This is the part where you either laugh, cry, or get extreeeemely pissed off.  Capcom eventually went on to allow a live action movie to be made after the game.  Starring Jean Claude van Damme as Guile, and a whole bunch of other shitty actors, they proceeded to DESTROY this movie.  They pretty much took the characters and dumped then in the toilet.  Since when were Ryu and Ken THIEVES.  Since when was Balrog a traitor to Bison and becomes a good guy? And, lets be realistic, Ryu looked TOO asian in this movie.  I mean, I know he is Japanese in the game, but he doesnt look like fuckin Bruce Lee (and the character that DID look like Bruce Lee, Fei Long, was omitted so they can put a character in that WASNT IN THE GAME!)  Also, why did they pick Van Damme to be Guile?

vandamme guile

sftm_ryu_looking_decidedly_victoriousryu_test_pallette_v1_psd_jpgcopy

Riiiiiiight.

It doesnt stop their either.  They also thought it was a FANTASTIC idea to make a cartoon for this game as well.  I don’t even want to talk about the show, as it had the most HORRENDOUS animation that I had ever scene.  Also, Guile goes CRAZY with the amount of sonic booms that he throws.  These videos can only describe how bad it was…

And it STILL doesn’t end there.  This newest movie with Chun Li is something I refuse to see unless I downloaded it.  One, Kristin Kreuk isn’t even ASIAN!!!!!!( Well she is a little Asian)  So for the last movie, they get someone that is too Asian, and for this one she isnt Asian enough.  I heard their were some good fight scenes, but too bad they can’t make a good movie.

street-fightert-chun-li-movie-09chun-li

Capcom doesn’t even give a fuck either.  A PR guy was quoted as saying, “Critics were unkind to the first Street Fighter movie as well, but that film has been ridiculously profitable for Capcom over the last decade. The original SF movie still generates millions of dollars in royalties for Capcom every year, thanks to cable, foreign distribution, home video, DVD and Blu-ray sales.”

Really, who would want to even BUY that awful movie!

Advertisements

I kind of just want to make this one fuckin short and sweet.  This has been a valid complaint of mine since I was only in 6th grade, but bus seats suck ASS!!!!  Let me give you the low down my lil chittlins…

See, when I was in 6th grade, I was already about 6 feet tall, much taller than most of the other boys and girls in the school.  Though I never road the bus, a problem that I had with the bus seats are that they are TOO SMALL!  Lord Almighty it is freakin ridiculous.  It makes ZERO sence to give kids on the bus microscopic amounts of leg room on the bus, or in some cases, having to shift your body so that you can sit comfortably on the bus.  Another thing was that there were complete assholes on the bus that would try to make you have the INSIDE of the seat so that they could be social.  It really is a dick move to do that shit because you put a person at discomfort to benefit your own selfishness you filthy bastard.  YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!!

But when you think normal bus seats are bad, wait until you sit fuckin coach.  People make HORRIBLE habits of being cocksuckers on those things.  I personally think that they should BAN (yes BAN) all of those reclining seats, as it puts you in the fuckin balls of the person behind you.  It is even worse when you have the trays in front of you, and you cant use it because the asshat in front of you wanted to be some doucher and recline ALL the way back.  Since it is apparently rude to ask someone to move so that you can be comfy, you have to tough it out in the American society.

But, the brunt to all stupidity are the city buses that go around.  Particulary, the CENTRO buses that go around Oswego.  They put seats in the DUMBEST places I have ever seen.  For example, the seat before you go up the steps to get to the back is stupidly placed next to a wall.  Now, if you sit on the end seat, your arm goes into the wall, this making you sit awkwardly.  The seat on the other end of that bench ends right next to another seat that is perpendicular.  Now, you effectively made those outside seats USELESS because they are obstructed by either a wall, or the other seat, leaving the middle seat as the only real option.

We can’t just leave this to just the transportation however.  Stadium and arena seats are PATHETIC as well.  Whoever designed the blueprints for the Campus Center must have been a midget, because NO one can fit in those fuckin seats.  I have to pray to get either a front row seat, or a seat on the outside of the rows at the hockey games just to sit comfortably.  It is almost like they dont know that the height of humans has gone up over the years.  Or, maybe they just don’t give a fuck….pricks.  Even the desks feel like they are made for little kids!  I always had problems sitting in some of the desks because they are dinky as hell.  Even to a smaller person than me, they are dinky as fuck.  The school doesn’t care though, because the big wigs all have their nice fancy shit.

Sorry for this rant, but this shit reallllly brings my blood to a boil.  Things that require very SIMPLE design and thought process are fucked up because people cant make it past first grade.  I dont even think the people that put the seats their attempted to SIT in them theirselves.  Quality Assurance is something that everything needs, just some people think they have all the answers though…

I am pretty much at my last straw with these dudes, and I am just going to give up pretty soon here.  Like, why does the network suck ASS this semester?  I remember at the beginning of the year, watching youtube videos was seemingly a breeze.  Now, watching youtube videos can be a nightmare(though it has gotten better).

My biggest problem however is how they ass raped the ports needed to connect to xbox live.  Kids were patiently waiting to download their demos to Halo Wars, only to find that it would eventually take DAYS, or maybe WEEKS to download the fucker.  Its totalllly not fair for them to do this.

It is also ass for them to try and say that the xbox counts as another machine, and that you have to pay for another connection.  Also, routers are completely illegal.  Let me get this straight now.  I can’t SHARE the connection that I PAID FOR with my other shit?  Its fuckin BULLLLLLLLSHIT!  Imagine if your internet operator told you that you had to have a separate internet connection for all of the computers in your house.  Imagine if your phone people you needed a different phone line for each phone you have in your house.  Or even better yet, imagine if you were forced by the government to have a room for every person that lives in your house.  I bet you wont be having large families anymore.

I also think that clean access agent is a STUPID idea that needs to die.  While it sounded novel at first, it has now turned into a nightmare that annoys the piss out of me.  You randomly get booted off and then have to sign back in, and it makes it a FOR SURE way to know that you dont have multiple computers on the network.

My case in point is, I paid for the fuckin line, let me use it how I damn well please you nickel and diming cocksuckers!!