I truly feel that this country is becoming more pathetic everyday. But as I was sitting here, I realized that it feels like we have designated times of almost every month where we have to feel OBLIGATED to empty our wallets. Don’t believe me?
Lets take a gander shall we. I am going to go over the holidays, some that aren’t even that major, and show you how many times corporations and companies are grinning big throughout the year.
September-Labor Day. As it is part of the tax free week, people are going WILD and buying stuff for the beginning of the school year and stuff.
October-Halloween. Look at all the people buying costumes, and buying candy. College kids are buying loads of beer.
November-Thanksgiving AND Black Friday. Mmm, spend all of your money on buying all these turkeys and yams and potatoes and bread. Now come and spend all of your money on items that are sold at huge discounts.
December-Christmas, that Jew holiday, The New Year. We all know Jews have loads of money, not to mention multiple days of getting gifts. Christmas is just a complete mess. The prices clearly become inflated, you have to fight with soccer moms over the last Nintendo Wii, TRAVEL is going through the roof, and once again, more food. For the New Year, people are gonna get all liquored up, and then say that they wanna stop drinking.
January-After the country sucks you fuckin dry, they give you a month to get your funds back since you just depleted your bank account, and your savings for those pornos you wanted.
February-Valentines Day. This should really just be called Hallmark Day. They make so much dough that they can start making pizzas. Valentines Day is also the most pathetic one of them all. Prove you love someone by buying them a shit load of material things that don’t signify love. This is also a day for the men to drop money on a bitch thats gonna break up with you tomorrow anyway.
March-Saint Patricks Day/Easter. Depending on when it its, you could drop money on celebrating Jesus’ raising from the dead…by buying eggs and chocolate bunnys. St Patty’s Day just makes no sense. Lets celebrate a catholic figure by getting drunk? Fuck people with “Mc” in their name.
April-Easter. See above.
May-Mother’s Day, Memorial Day. Here is another time where we drop loaaaads of money out of our wallets for women that have probably been cheating on your father with the next door neighbor. Oh yeah, these women always get something good. Memorial Day has use buying flag t-shirts and lots of other patriotic bullshit. I love my country, but I shouldn’t have to spend loads of money to prove it. There is once again, an increase in meat purchases.
June_Fathers Day. This shouldn’t even bee a holiday. Holidays aimed towards men always get the shaft. While you were buying carnations for mom, dad gets the picture thats made out of macoroni, or the painted picture that has a tie on it.
July-4th of July, huge travel month, air conditioning, pools, grad parties. Everyone is hot and pissed off, why not waste money on a pool that your son and his friends are gonna drop a turd in? People also take this time to go to beaches and travel to far places by plane. And yes, the 4th of July has kids blowing themselves up with fireworks. I forgot to put that fairs and amusement parks get huge business as well. Kids are also having expensive ass grad parties where grandma congratulates their whore daughter for graduating school without getting pregnant.
August is pretty much the same as July, yet you have massive back to school shit. Computer companies are making LOADS of dough off of people buying computers for college, or for colleges that get new supplies. Clothes manufactures are making a killing off of fat girls who think they look sexy in a pair of those tights.
As you can see, January is the ONLY MONTH where you are allowed to save money. You gotta start the new year off with a little somethin somethin right? So remember, look at your bank account before these holidays and give it a good kiss…you will never see that cash again for a loooong time.
